Directors do cool things like hook up with hot chicks and screw over third world children.

Demetri Martin is like totally a serious actor now. First this whimsical Ang Lee hipster film and now news that he’ll star with Brad Pitt in Stephen Soderbergh’s Moneyball. Martin (he’s like Lawrence Leung only better looking, more talented and he came first) plays a Harvard grad who uses his statistical skills for a baseball team to scout out the best players for the cheapest prices. [Variety]

All I can gather from this still released of Peter Jackson’s The Lovely Bones is that the film may or may not be on par with What Dreams May Come. [Empire]

That adorable little girl from Slumdog Millionaire was almost sold by her father. Them’s the breaks with being an ‘Oscar child‘. Geez little girl, aren’t you happy with the trust fund Danny Boyle threw in your face? [Defamer]

Ah look – it’s Michelle Williams on the set of Shutter Island with that actor who used to be a heartthrob and that director who used to be relevant. Jokes! All these guys are pretty cool. Film is based on the Dennis Lehane novel about US Marshalls tracking down an escaped murderer on an island occupied by a sinister psychiatric hospital. [Empire]

A poster featuring chainsmoker Coco Chanel is banned in Paris for featuring Coco Chanel chainsmoking. So now there’s a new poster for Coco avant Chanel which is great because it makes the movie look like La Vie En Rose 2: Plus Rose. [Jezebel]

A remake of Peckinpah’s Straw Dogs seems like a flat out bad idea. But, what’s that? They’ve cast James Marsden from Hairspray in the lead role? He’s soooo dreamy! Squeal! [CHUD]

The Cannes Film Festival line-up has been announced and there are some interesting directors listed: Jane Campion, Lars von Trier, Tsai Ming-liang, Alain Resnais, Michael Haneke, Johnnie To, Park Chan-wook, Pedro Almodovar, Ken Loach, Quentin Tarantino, Ang Lee, Terry Gilliam, Michel Gondry, Bong Joon-ho. They’re also showing Australia’s Samson and Delilah by Warwick Thornton and that American indie film with Mariah Carey, Precious. Full line-up at [Movieline]

Charlyne Yi’s film Paper Heart has a trailer. Looks to be a part fiction/part documentary film about Charlyne, a cynic about love, who interviews famous celebrity comedians about the subject who are more knowledgeable than you. Her position on love changes when Michael Cera falls in love with her. If only Michael Cera could fall in love with ALL OF US! Somewhere Mel Campbell is curled up in a ball overwrought by the whole twee whimsy hipster hipness of it all. [Apple Trailers]

Being a hacky director is a great way to get hot chicks. Unfortunately Zack Snyder isn’t as good at it as Quentin Tarantino and Brett Ratner. [The Playlist]

Sofia Coppola has announced a new project. [Movieline]

The very excellent Japanese director Hirokazu Koreeda is making a film about an inflatable doll that comes to life. The synopsis for Air Doll doesn’t sound particularly…uh, good. It’s also something of a departure for Koreeda whose films are generally pared back meditations on contemporary Japanese life but count me as interested. [Twitch]

I like the idea that Francis Ford Coppola is making weird, non-commercial fare as he gets older. He doesn’t have to prove himself to anyone. He’s made some black and white film about an Italian family of artists who relocate to Buenos Aires called Tetro. He also shunned Cannes which was a bold move. Team Coppola! [Indiewire]

Hey! It’s a photo from the set of Tintin. While it’s cool to see Jamie Bell, Steven Spielberg, Peter Jackson and Andy Serkis in the same room together, I’m still a bit sceptical about the whole motion capture thing. [Empire]